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marysiak has declared it Livejournal February and who am I to argue?

I am feeling a bit maudlin this month.

Last month was pretty full, really. I managed to write a song, do some auditions, gig a few times, film a commercial (might not get shown but it was done and that's the thing), submit some writing for a job and generally feel okay with my place in the world.

I also listened to a lot of David Bowie. Which meant that I ended up with a distinct memento mori month as well.

This month the sense of mortality has carried over but I haven't yet kickstarted any creativity. It is February 3 and this is ever such a short month.

I am still waiting for payment for work already done so I can't even go out and have fun and forget about it all. I did get £1.51 from royalties, but a few cans of chick peas and tomatoes and beans has left very little of that still to spend.

So I sit here contemplating art. I worry about the future and the state of the world. I consider it is probably time to suspend Godwin's Law as there are some things in the world that really do seem to be worrying, and calling them out is not losing the argument - it may be the only way not to lose.

This could all just be because it is February 3, in the middle of the day, and it is dark and gloomy out. Maybe I will eat some of those chickpeas and feel better.
I completely forget about Livejournal. Hello, to people who are still here!

Vegetables are our friends

I used to eat more than 5 portions of fruit and vegetables, but I had been slipping for a while.

Decided to sort it out, as I had started to get a little bit weighty. Been eating mostly just fruit and vegetables and a bit of protein lately (with a tiny, tiny amount of gluten free bread that was reduced at the end of the day, but only a small loaf over the last week) and it seems to be working.

Feel less bloated and am now only overweight rather than getting into the "worryingly close to obese" category. I am still almost a stone more than I was 10 years ago, but as 10 years ago I was at my lightest adult weight I am actually about my average adult weight now.

I am going to aim to get down to about 60 kilogrammes, but I am not going to stress about it, just carry on eating fruits and vegetables as the main part of my diet. Which is what you are supposed to do anyway (rather than the crisps and chocolate diet that I was starting to slip into).

Every time I eat more vegetables I fruit I realise that I only really want to eat vegetables and fruit. Though every time I eat mostly crisps and chocolate I start to think they are all I want.

It has been easier and cheaper than it would have been because of the plentiful early blackberries growing in the back alleyway. Though I should remember I have eaten them next time so I don't get worried when some of them come out almost the same as they went in. Moment of panic for a second.

I didn't ever eat that much processed food (apart from the crisps and chocolate), fortunately, but I have cut out the extra sugar I had started to rely on.

Still can't get into most of my clothes, but I am nearer than I was. Had a three day headache last week, but that seems to have passed. I am going to assume that was "toxins" stuck in my fat, whether that is true or not, and hope my headaches are fewer and further between now.

On Reviews

I had one review in 2012 for a show several audience members had tweeted was the funniest thing they had ever seen. The reviewer (who arrived late) did not get it at all.

I have read quite a few reviews of shows (and other things) that I loved, and later been dismayed at how differently they were perceived and judged by reviewers.

Often shows I hated have been lauded.

Reviews are fun if you are writing them and they are helpful to a potential audience member who has the exact same tastes, sense of humour, IQ and life experiences as the reviewer. Even twins usually don't share all the same traits, so really only the reviewer can ever agree entirely with the opinion of the reviewer. And even they might have had a different opinion if they had eaten something different that day, if it hadn't rained or if the person they bumped into on the bus had said sorry. Or if they had bothered to turn up in time for the beginning and hadn't sat too far back to see things properly.

Reviews can be entertaining if they are full of well-worded vitriol, but then they are really just the writer showing off.

Otherwise they are meaningless, and once whatever they were reviewing has finished or is not available a bad review is just like a lingering smell. Only a good review is of any use to anyone because it can be used for publicity.

A bad review will likely be remembered by the victim and may hang about on the internet being a horrible reminder to them - but nobody is going to quote a bad review unless it is to show how stupid and wrong the reviewer was when talking about something everyone else agreed was wonderful.

I say this as someone who has reviewed, been reviewed and read reviews.

For anyone about to do a show in the upcoming weeks, in Edinburgh and beyond: those who are about to die, we salute you.

All or Nothing

I am an incredibly indolent person, but when I start to do things I tend to do as much as possible.

So today I posted a video, made a Facebook page and selling page for my father's paintings and the BBC New Comedy Awards. I have always wanted to but hadn't before, as they stopped them before I started doing stand up and I hadn't noticed they were doing them again.

The deadline is in a few hours so I had a bit of a panic preparing the audio file and making sure it was under 5 minutes. Whether it is any good is the least of my worries, as it was more a case of doing it rather than having a hope in hell of winning. Though of course I am amazing and all. (This positive thinking malarkey is just pomposity and delusion, isn't it?)

Anyway, here is me in a corset. Yay.

The Greater Good -- Armchair Philosophy

Tried to film a video in my house today and couldn't find anywhere where the light was just right. Eventually I just cleared all the stuff of the armchair in the corner of my room, used mostly as a recepticle for holding all my unused pillows and winter cardigans.

It is probably also where most of the moths [that won't die] live.

The Real Angel

I haven't used this account for a very long time, but had to upgrade to a paid account today, since I have a Youtube account that was linked to a Livejournal email address and only paid accounts have access to the email.

So I was locked out of Google for the account.


So I have paid for two months now, may as well use it.

If anyone on my friends list is still on Livejournal, please say hi and tell me if I have missed anything.

In the meantime this (again).

Long Absent

There was a time I would visit Livejournal every day and read all the posts in my friendslist before I did anything else.

Those days are long gone!

Still, I still have this journal and I suppose I should occasionally use it.

What have I been doing?

Well a few character comedy videos lately, with mixed responses.


It used to be far easier to do an entry. This is just too fiddly.

Until the next time, au revoir!

48 Hours

Took part in a 48 hour film challenge the other week but the guy doing the editing didn't finish it in time so we missed the deadline.

I tweaked it a little and put it on Youtube (added Kevin Macleod music and a few extra cuts - but it is still rough and ready!)

Anyway, here it is. It is what it is - we didn't have great equipment or any external mics or lighting and nobody was really in charge, but it's ok for a quck and messy collaboration. I have since got the original foortage so I might try another edit, or I might not. This one leaves out a few key scenes that would have made it make more sense - but I was working with what was available at the time.

Putting it Together

I should definitely have planned some Edinburgh previews. I would have if I wasn't so cowardly - but now it means that the first few shows of the actual Edinburgh run will be the first time I have done almost all of this stuff.


I made a presentation thing as I thought that might help - but the chances are the projector I borrowed and the presentation I made are not really compatible unless I spend money on either a special lead or special programs and I don't have that luxury after spending all spare money on actually getting to Edinburgh (and associated costs).

If I'd had to pay for the venue it might have cost £3000 to £12,000 more than I have spent - but it's all relative because I have still spent everything I have (had!)

Good job I am not sure I want people to come and see it because the costs of PR and marketing would have driven me way over the edge.

Reading through the notes I have - 10 single-spaced A4 pages, not including the presentation, any videos I might use and any of my well-used material.

It takes less than a minute to read in my head but I know from the past that a page of text takes over 6 minutes to perform - so theoretically I have more than enough stuff, it's just doing it in front of people and praying they are not bored that's the real problem.

My mother thinks I should just play them a song on my ukulele every time I see them flagging - but I think a 50 minute uke song might be worse! I could do the Happy Happy Birthday song for that long, though.

I am still looking forward to Edinburgh but it's more about seeing the place and all the people I haven't run into for a while.

I recently saw Matt Welcome's Edinburgh preview and he is also doing the Free Fringe this year in the last week, so I will try to get to that - though I think our shows might be very close to one another, so I will have to run to catch it. That's not a problem though - his show is about how time doesn't really exist.

If the premise is true that is good - if I have successfully written and performed the show at some point then it is already done, and if I haven't then I was never going to.

This explains why when things happen they just happen and no amount of planning and worrying changes the outcome.


johnny depp, jazz hands, pirates of the caribbean
Om Shrim Maha Lakshmiyei Swaha

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